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BP Says “Oil Spill Stopped!”

Filed under: Breaking News,Disasters,Environment,Scandals — Tags: , , , — Positronic Dave @ 5:00 am July 16, 2010

I’d like to believe BP engineers who are certain the oil spilled stopped, finally. I didn’t check to see if Snow Cones are being served in Hell right now, and given British Petroleum’s record of screw-ups and manipulation of facts and all, I’m not ready to believe either of these situations have changed. I’m praying I’m wrong, but we’ll see. But the 75 ton cap they are testing, seems to have written “oil spill stopped” all over the wreckage of the Deep Sea platform that blew up those many, heady months ago. Wasn’t it just April a moment ago? No, that was more like 86 days, really. 86 long, long, depressing and enraging days ago. My how time flies while 184 barrels of oil fouls up the Gulf of Mexico for decades to come.

“OIl Spill Stopped” is just Phase One of the operation. Next we wait to see if the pressure builds up enough to blow the cap off, or for the leak to rupture the ocean bed and resume leaking elsewhere.

Millions of Gulf of Mexico residents are hoping against the odds that the image they’ve been seeing on the underwater oil spill live feed after all this time

Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill- Day 77 Dawns Tomorrow

The Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill turns 77 tomorrow, 77 days that is. The worst eco-disaster in U.S.History continues, despite the efforts of the best and the brilliant to stop it, or even ebb the tide. Oh, and British Petroleum is helping out with the Gulf of Mexico oil spill too, they wanted us all to know that in hopes that we’d hate them a little less than they know we do. Sorry guys… didn’t work.

The Oiled Giant (and holder of the worst safety record in the entire oil industry) has so far paid out over $3 billion dollars towards clean-up efforts, as well as remunerations to local fishermen, fines, penalties, tax and a nice fat tip. This is a separate amount from the $20 billion dollar fund they set up at the insistence of President Obama, for which he has been criticized by industry-shills like Rep. Joe Barton of Texas, Rand “Crazier than my dad!” Paul, and Sarah “I’ll do anything for airtime!” Palin, both of whom have stood up for the poor old oil company being treated poorly by the bad, bad man.

OIL SKIMMER UPDATE

A Whale, the Taiwanese oil skimmer’s first test run didn’t ring any church bells or let loose flocks of singing angels. Owners of the boat, said to be able to process well over 20 million gallons of oil-polluted water per day, maintain that high seas are impairing its performance. Apprently, it’s a “fair weather” friend. Meanwhile the fleet of smaller skimmers are just returning now to sea to combat the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, after being scared out of the area by the “Tropical Storm That Thought it was a Hurricane,” Alex.

IF THERE ARE BALLOONS THEN IT MUST BE A PARTY!!!

The U.S, Navy is bringing in the blimp! An MZ-3A airship will be used to monitor the Gulf of Mexico oil spill, help in directing skimmers, and radio in help for endangered marine animals. Blimps can stay airborne for half a day, making them far more effective than planes or helicopters. If you, like me, are feeling the temptation to make Hindenburg comparisons, let’s refrain. We need every bit of good news we can get here.

TAR BALL BEACH, TEXAS STYLE!!!

The Texas Land Commissioner, Jerry Patterson, announced that tar balls are washing up on Texas beaches around Galveston Island and the Bolivar Peninsula yesterday, adding just one more $#%$@5 thing we can thank Tony Heyward and British petroleum for. Watch their P.R. try to make this a kind of “Hey kids! Know what’s fun to play with AND free from your pals at BP? Oil balls! Yaaaay!!!” summer thing.

MORE FISHERMAN $#%%# OUT OF LUCK!!!

The N.O.A.A. has declared even more territory that is closed to fisherman as the oil slick continues to spread. This means over a third of all federal areas in the gulf are closed now to fishing.

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