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Justin Bieber Smoking Weed

Filed under: Celebrities,Rumors — Tags: , , — Positronic Dave @ 2:36 am July 30, 2010

Today, we have “Justin Bieber Smoking Weed” to add to our growing list of Justin Bieber rumors. And I have to say I am disappointed in you, rumor mongers… very, very let down. I’m sad.

“Justin Bieber smoking weed” is the best you can come up with? Jumping Jesus on a solar-powered pogo stick, I could work up a better rumor than that, upon waking, and even before my necessary seven cups of coffee. Hell, I’ve given you all very fertile ground on which to sow even better Bieber rumors. I don’t know how many times I’ve insinuated that he and Kim Kardashian have an odd sex life wherein, she wears the pants, and the strap-on, in that particular “beast with two backs.”

And has anyone of you ever picked up on that and ran with it, shrieking and giggling into the night? No. No, you haven’t. Do I need to draw you a picture here? “Justin Bieber smokes weed” just sounds like bad TV detective dialogue.

Justin Bieber smoking weed would only be a thrilling charge if he were wrapping the smoke in pieces of human skin, or maybe sprinkling cancer-child blood over the pot before rolling it up. Otherwise, the idea that smoking pot is anything controversial or surprising is… well, it’s kind of so 1970s, really. Like I said… sad. Just sad.

Let’s work together here, internet rumor mongers. I’ll keep suggesting, in so many words, that Kim buckles the belt on a 14″ sky-blue, glow-in-the-dark, vibrating phallus (with authentic “pulse action”) before showing Justin Bieber “the love of tigers!” The least you could do is drop it in your blogs and tweets and Facebook status updates, and then we’d all be a lot happier.

Especially Justin Drew Bieber, who would rather feel the back of his thighs slapping together from the sheer force of Kim’s energetic and enthusiastic love-making, than be criminally bored by rumors like “Justin Bieber smoking weed.” Let’s think of Justin’s needs, Ok?

Inverted Nipples

Filed under: Health,Hot & Sexy,Life & How to Live It,Natural Wonders — Tags: , , , , — Positronic Dave @ 2:21 pm July 2, 2010

Nothing surprises me anymore on the internet. In fact, upon seeing “Inverted Nipples” in the news feed I have to admit I was mildly shocked that no one was accusing Justin Bieber of having them, nor of having proof that the only thing still organic about Kim Kardashian’s Plastic Fantastic breasts are that they have inverted nipples. Or rather, did before anyone realized that was recently-deceased Gary Coleman just trying to burrow his way in.

Internet rumor-mongers, you just missed a golden opportunity.

The medical reality about inverted nipples is that some 1-2 out of ten women have them (or even just one breast that is an “in-y” while the other still qualifies as an “out-ie”) and they were just born that way. The nipples are inverted until the woman is nursing or becomes erotically stimulated, in which case, the nipple (pardon the term) will rise to the occasion.

People that find inverted nipples a turn-off probably have a myriad of other little “issues” with life and their fear/disgust/turn-off due to inverted nipples is the least of what will, invariably, make them a neurotic pain in the ass to be around. There are people that have the same reaction to large or small areolas. People are weird.

I suppose one could dove-tail this with the average US male’s obsession with breasts and breast-size. In a manner that reduces so many men to slavering hound-dog fixated on “bigger is always better” like they were all suddenly celebrating their inner-Texan, the national obsession with big breasts mirrors some people’s obsession with owning bigger trucks. Sure you cam make them bigger, you can make them defy gravity and inertia, you can blow them up to the size of beach balls, but not without cost.

I don;t know about you but cosmetic breast enhancement

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