Breaking news, politics, trends, celebrities and sports

Hipster is the New Hipster

My, my… the blogoverse today is full of transmissions about hipsters. Many of these nu-testaments are written by hipsters about hipsters fir hipsters and that probably puts some kind of strain on the Time/Space Continuum. Almost everything does these days. If it doesn’t, you know… create zombies. Well that idea = fail. Just look at the hip new term “Social Networking.” I think was first coined in a George Romero movie. Hipster is the New Zombie.

Facebook (aka The Social Networking Site of the Damned) has been peppered recently with links to a variety of photos entitled “Hipster Trap” – usually featuring a cage and/or bear-trap, baited with a six-pack of PBR, a can of Redbull, and one or two other, assorted product placements. The best dive bars around are inundated with hipsters until ferns start to sprout. Did I say “ferns”? I meant “slam poetry.” There are even dueling hipster movies at the cinema, squaring off with mighty roars of “… whatever…” as they struggle for market dominance.

On one hand we have Happythankyoumoreplease – a story where novelists, painters and singers interact in meaning(of-life)ful ways. On the other hand, we have Monogamy – a story where photographers and singers interact, and there’s a bunch of sex angles. The first movie has a kid. Both are very hip, and you should ask yourself, before you consider seeing them, “Am I hip enough to watch these movies with sufficient irony?” If not, leave the PBR philosophizing to the professionals, Ok?

The cable monster Jersey Shore has a Gay Hipster, I am led to understand. Good for them. They also have a “Snooki” who gets a higher paycheck for University appearances than Toni Morrison. File that in your “Signs of the Imminent Apocalypse” notebook. And put on a helmet, apparently it’s already crazy out there.

Why, the Hipster Craze (as it was nicknamed by someone very hip) has even put its authentic Chucks into the irony-rich world of raising poultry.  The hipster coop known as “nog” – designed by Matthew Hayward and Nadia Turan, is shaped like an egg, which will provide hipsters with hours of “chicken vs. egg” conversations, rich in cultural references and uses of the word “fuck” as a verb, a noun, an adjective, and pejorative. You may gaze upon its awesomeness at www.neatorama.com.

In other, very possible news, someone said the name Katy Perry and the term “hipster” within several words of each other. Medical examiners attribute the 29 deaths to “Head Explode-y” Syndrome (HES) and have advised the CDC that it is “just one of those things.”

And, in this faux-journalist’s opinion, final proof that the Hipster Plague has slouched its way towards true epidemic proportions?  It has been acknowledged by the Prophetess That is Known as Lolcat.  We might as well surrender now. It’s a Hipster World. the rest of us just live, un-hiply, in it. Until we’re eaten by zombies.