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The Biggest Problem in Terror Attacks? They Use People.

It hasn’t been a banner year for terrorist attacks. In fact, it seems the biggest problem in terror attacks? They use people to carry them out. I know a lot of law enforcement and intelligence agencies will portray this as a “But for the grace of God, goes us all” theme, but I think we’re missing out on some excellent examples of slapstick humor in the real world.

For instance, take Taimour Abdulwahab… please. The attempted Swedish human bomb (we mean he was an attempted bomber. He was both successfully Swedish as well as suicidal at least) had that same embarrassing problem so many men suffer from. He was so nervous he kinda went off prematurely.

Police believe that, en route to the strike site, he dropped the cell phone he was to use as a detonator. As he bent down to get it, he set off the bomb belt he was wearing, which also set off the bomb in his backpack. As police try to track where he got the materials to build the bombs, as well as if others were involved, I have to add that, while here’s absolutely no evidence that his last words were “Uh-oh…!” still, it would’ve been really funny if they were.

Last Christmas, the attempted bombing of Northwest Airlines Flight 253 failed because the similarly complicatedly-named terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab had a bomb that failed to go off… in his pants! You can fill in your own punch-lines here.

Still experts say that this is no reason to relax our vigilance. After all, look how often the Three Stooges or Inspector Clouseau bumbled their slapstick way into an actual successful solution to the crime/problem/whatever. Much like water in nature, eventually even Comedy finds its way through, or around, any obstacle.

And while it is somewhat of a comfort that the average terrorist recruit comes already a few Muppets short of being Harry the Mad Bomber, experts say that two dangers still exist here: the afore-mentioned “Clouseau” theory, as well as the more conspiracy-minded view that a legion of bumblers might be a diversion for actual professionally planned and executed attacks.

For, after all, while we joke, “You know the biggest problem in terror attacks? They use people!” It’s worth remembering even a broken clock has a chance of being right twice a day.

Iran’s Atomic Clock Runs faster Than Ours

Filed under: Controversy,International News,Politics,Technology,terrorism — Positronic Dave @ 3:37 pm August 28, 2010

The famous “Atomic Clock” (aka ‘The Doomsday Clock” that was used, in the 1950s onward to determine how close we were, as a world, to atomic war. The more tense relations were between the USA and the USSR, compounded by events like the Cuban Missile Crisis and the shooting down of an American U2 spy over Russia, which would push the hands of the Atomic Clock closer to Midnight, or, to put it in other words, BOOM!

The stress and anxiety of two atomic super-powers squaring-off has been replaced with the fear of terrorists groups getting ahold of misplaced or lost Soviet weapons/ weapons technology, and of what we like to call rogue nations (Iran, North Korea, etc.) getting ahold of them, or worse, making their own.

It takes no amount of supposition to know that Iran is both close to having their own nuclear weapons-grade enriched uranium, and thoroughly willing to use it, most likely on Israel. Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has made no secret of his hatred and contempt for Israel, and certainly, Israel keeps doing things that give him fuel for his crazy fires. For a man who discounts The Holocaust with “Yeah, prove it really happened!” I, for one, don’t want him having a viable nuclear weapon.

Of course, this is the heart of the First World vs Third World struggle. We feel we have the moral authority to tell other nations that they can’t have the kind of weapons we have. That nuclear weapons are an awesome, dangerous responsibility and should only be in the hands of the United States. And Russia, after they stole the secrets from us. And China after that. And the British, of course, and the French. And Israel, after they stole the secrets from us, and Pakistan and India. Hey, I know I trust those constantly bickering nations to have weapons of mass destruction. I know I feel safe. Then again, I don’t live in the Kashmir region, or Israel. So it’s easy for me to feel that way. North Korea, on the other hand? That Kim Jong Il may have his own bomb(s) robs me of sleep at night

The Atomic Clock is currently set at 6 minutes to midnight. It is there because Obama is the President of the United States, and not King Bush II. Chew on that, Dick “Obama’s making the world unsafe!” Cheney.

Currently, our administration believes that Iran is within a year’s time of having viable uranium for weapons use. The International Atomic Energy Agency puts at three months. Suddenly, the ticking of the Atomic Clock is much louder…

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