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Dancing With the Stars Season 11

This is how Dancing With the Stars Season 11 would go, if Network TV ever had the good sense to let me run the show, with an unlimited budget and the autonomy to bend a few rules of physics, bring people back from the dead, you know, that sort of thing. But no

Cy Waits for No Man, Especially When They’ve Got a Knife

Filed under: "Who Cares?" News,Celebrities,Crime,Reality TV — Positronic Dave @ 5:27 pm August 28, 2010

We know that Cy Waits already lives dangerously… he’s Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, for pity’s sake… But what we didn’t know is that he’s armed and ready for said danger. Cy Waits, who works in Las Vegas spicing up the nightlife, got the chance to use the gun when an armed intruder tried to break into his girlfriend’s home, located (where else) Los Angeles.

Paris Hilton and boyfriend Cy Waits (r.) were woken up when Nathan Parada attempted to break into the socialite's Los Angeles home.

Cy Waits pulled the gun on the intruder and got him to drop his weapons, lie on the floor, and not to move until Police could get there. The intruder, one Nathan Parada, was arrested on charges of Felony Burglary and, as soon as he can scrape the $50k bail together, he can leave jail, otherwise, he’s there until the trial.

According to relatives, Parada has both a criminal history, as well as a history of bipolar issues. Maybe one of the knives was his “manic knife” and the other, a more depressive cutting edge? All police have said so far is that they believe he found Paris Hilton’s house using one of those “Maps to the Stars Homes” which are cheap and readily available in the area

While Cy Waits spoke with police about the incident, paris got right to work Twittering the details of her OMG incident. Texting a pic of Parada handcuffed, she described how he broke into her house, carrying, not one, but two “big knifes [sic]” Poor girl was so scared she misspelled “knives.”

This is the second home-invasion experience for the largely-useless-yet-she-won’t-go-away heiress and Reality TV star. One of her homes was ransacked back in 2008, by a suspect who got away with some $2 million dollars worth of items. So that would be… what? Three designer handbags?

In other news, both Cy waits and Paris Hilton were arrested in Ls Vegas after police pulled their car over on account fo the clouds of marijuana smoke coming from it. But once again, like in South Africa during the World Cup, “the drugs weren’t mine!” claims Hilton, who was held overnight, then released.

And she, and Cy Waits were off, no doubt on another mad-cap adventure where the drugs are never Paris’…

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