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South Dakota to Extend “Justifiable Homicide” Status to Abortion Doctor Killers

I just read about South Dakota‘s House Bill 1171. Well,

Mariah Carey pregnant?

Filed under: "Who Cares?" News,Celebrities,Pop Culture,Pregnancy — Tags: , , — Positronic Dave @ 3:06 pm August 24, 2010

Is Mariah Carey pregnant? This is how the End Times will begin… for Lo, it is written, in a lot of old books, where old is spelled with an extra “e” at the end, so you know they’re totally serious, that when “she who is incapable of not trilling in song shall let loose from her loins a spawn, born into golden diapers and therapy, at the same time.

Or maybe I’m confusing all this with the Book of revelation… there are similarities, if you look hard enough. Regardless, the answer to “Is Mariah Carey pregnant”, coming straight from Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon HQ is… none of your business. We’ll let you know “if” and “how,” but only “when” we feel like it. Now back off before Mariah Carey uses her laser-vision, which actually, nearly all pregnant women have, as any experienced birth-partner can tell you. It’s both a defense mechanism and a way to get ice cream at anytime of the day or night.

Mariah Carey pregnant does proise at least one thing: that will be one happy, happy baby if Mariah decides to breast feed. Kid could get hooked up with serious money from the tabloids if he/she is willing to snap a few pics with their pacifier/iPhone combo. I mean, this is Mariah Carey we’re talking about. I’m sure the kid already has twitter account set up for them, along with a duet with Nikki Minaj, as the two will no doubt rap huskily and sexfully over the ABC song.

Meanwhile, the interwebs are buzzing with photos of a voluptuous Mariah Carey, with penetrating insightful questions like “Is Mariah Carey Pregnant? What do you think?” I think, we pick up those magazine for you to tell us the answers dude. I’m not doing your job for you. Not without a few Mariah Carey pregnant pictures up front.