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Tyler Patrick Thomas

Filed under: Alcohol,Idiots,Legal,Oops! News,Scandals,Sports,Violence — Tags: , — Positronic Dave @ 9:08 pm August 24, 2010

Well, well, well… I bet Tyler Patrick Thomas is kicking himself in the head right now. You know, in case the hangover he must have hasn’t done that for him already. the Oregon State football player appears to have some issues with alcohol, and not drinking so much of it that you are become crazed, naked and violent. At least not in public, and especially not in a neighbor’s kitchen.

Oregon state football

Young Tyler Patrick Thomas was the focus of a number of police officers that were called to the house of an unidentified neighbor because the nude and raving college athlete was running around her yard and inside her house. He even tried to charge at police officers when they tried to talk him out of the house and into some handcuffs. The score at the end was Stunguns 3, Naked Drunk 0. This picture becomes all the better when yu factor in that Tyler patrick Thomas is 19, not old enough to be legally drunk, naked and crazy. This might reflect poorly on his chances in college.

Which, indeed, it has. Oregon State has axed Tyler Patrick Thomas from the team, no doubt losing him whatever scholarships he had been gifted with. It seems that this is not, by any stretch of the imagination or disciplinary record, the first time the 19-year old has had problems of a similar nature, according to the team’s coach.

But while he’ll have all that time off from football, Tyler will still have quite a bit on his plate: things like the charges against him which include public intoxication, trespassing, criminal mischief, resisting arrest, waving his penis in an unseemly manner, etc., etc.

Should be quite the busy September for Tyler Patrick Thomas

Dina Lohan – Parent o’ the Year

Filed under: Alcohol,Celebrities,Crazy News,drugs,Entertainment,Family,Idiots,Rehab/Recovery Stories — Tags: , , — Positronic Dave @ 6:19 pm August 13, 2010

God grant me that when my daughter is older, that aI’m not as stupid as Dina Lohan, the mother of everybody’s favorite celebrity train-wreck du jour, Lindsay Lohan.

Appearing on The Today Show, Dina Lohan showed the kind of nebulous reasoning and blind faith in her own words unseen since Emperor Bush II called Sadaam Hussein a possessor of WMDs. Oh, those seem like such heady times compared to watching Dina Lohan’s parenting style, that seems to be, from all appearances, a subtle kind of not-parenting, if you will. It’s as if, if she closes her eyes long enough, she can believe it’s still last night. Well, open up your eyes, Dina Lohan: it is Today, and your daughter is an alcoholic drug user. Good Morning!

Check out this video of choice moments from Dina “I stayed close so Lindsay could fail on her own” Lohan’s interview:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48Fo3_TMUes

Oh, no no no, says Dina Lohan to Matt Lauer’s questions regarding Lindsay ending up in rehab because of legal problems… again. Lindsay, says her mother with a straight face, doesn’t have addictions, she has tabloids. It’s all their fault. They took the fact that Lindsay is in rebab for the fourth time in three years and just exaggerated it to mean she had a problem, or something.

And there’s no problem with Lindsay checking out early or anything, and besides, maybe the Lohans can sue California! The sensitivity to reality must be a genetic thing with the Lohans. I don’t know that you can be taught to be that clueless. Dina then points out that one goes to rehab to be rehab-ilitated, then sits back with a knowing look in her eye, like she just said something clever about why it’s a good idea for Lindsay to keep checking out of them early. Besides, if we all would just see how Lindsay is, she’d tell us how’s she so not an addict/alcoholic and we’d believe her.

Two words, Dina Lohan: “act” and “tress.”

Dina Lohan also explains away Lindsay painting “F*** you” on her nails with the statement that she and Lindsay went to court believing that all charges were to be dropped that day… so that’s why Lindsay painted that on her fingernails beforehand…? And that’s the reason why it wasn’t “Lindsay’s choice”? WTF? Hold on, I need to re-read what I just typed…. yup. She actually said that. And she blamed the whole thing on the judge again. And bad things you’ve heard about Dina are her ex-husband’s fault and Lindsay’s fine and Dina is a good mother and we all just want to believe the tabloids, and Lindsay’s an actress and Dina is too a good mother.

Meanwhile, maintains the self-appointed Parent O’ the Year, Lindsay is fine and we’ll all see when she gets out, and in the meantime Lindsay is doing charity work to help what victims? Kids with addiction or alcohol problems? No… other celebrities who are “tabloid victims.” Lindsay Lohan lives in a sad, broken-down country called Lindsay Lohan Land, and Dina Lohan stands at the borders and says everything is fine.

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