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Clap Your Hands, Don’t Hand Out Clap, or Watch Out Planned Parenthood, Rick Santorum Has You in His Second Amendment Sites

So, as goes the imaginations of the current banzai wave of Budget-Slashing Neo-Cons and other members of the Women Hater’s Club would imagine, there goes Ms. Modern American Woman Girl, walking proudly down the street on her way to Planned Parenthood for a weekly “Post-Saturday Night Anonymous Hookup” abortion. Hey, why not get those inevitable STDs looked at too? While you’re there, you can read up on man-hating, lesbianism, witchcraft and communism too.

So runs the sort of narrative suggested by the likes of Ex-Senator Rick Santorum, when he’s not imagining some hot, sweaty, Gay man-on-Farm Animal action. Him, and a score of extremists that use Christ as camouflage as they attempt to push the status and rights of women boldly forward back towards the 1600s.

The thing about Planned Parenthood (aka the “abortion mill”) is that apparently, their nefarious agenda has always included the presumption that all women (and even youth) should have access to safe, affordable health care of all kinds. To the demonic end, the Planned Parenthood in the Memphis area (much like many of these howling pits of despair and gynecological check-ups) is offering free tests for STDs, as part of the GYT (“Get Yourself Tested!”) Day, today, Tuesday, April 19th.

As you may know, recently there was an attempt by House Republicans to attach a rider completely unfunding Planned Parenthood, since they believe federal funding shouldn’t be spent on what is euphemistically called “‘Abort-o-Rama”s. Of course, the fact that PP also provides pre- and post-natal health services, gynecological exams, etc., for millions of lower-income women is generally not pointed out.

Santorum even suggested that our current Social Security dilemma was, in part, caused by “all the abortions that – had they grown to be tax-paying citizens – would have added all the money we’d ever  need.” I’m paraphrasing here, but not much. Santorum suggested that 1 in every 3 fetus in the USA has been aborted. This only proves he’s as clueless with statistics as he is with social policies. Maybe he’s just grouchy, because he comes up #2 in a google search to this.  He also comes up smelling like #2, yet still he floats the idea of a 2012 Presidential Run.

So, if you’re in the Memphis area today, stop by their Planned Parenthood for free STD screening. Other locations, stop by for some inexpensive, if somewhat endangered, women’s health care. If you’re a man, stop by then in solidarity. Women hold up at least half the sky… time we men found something constructive to do as well.



How the Oregon State Legislature Rocks at Rick Rolling

Clearly, things have gotten ugly in American Politics recently, and I’m not just talking about John Boehner’s face. Ok… I AM talking about John Boehner’s face, but also, on the larger scale, we have politicians on both sides of the aisle ready to let the government be shut down rather than work with each other. Throw in that the Democrats are largely neutered and spineless in the face of guileless and pitiless Reptiles… I mean “Republicans” as well as the unwashed barbarians at the door demanding a Tea Party approach to politics that reminds one of the Nazi’s bonfire approach to the Dewey Decimal System.

Fortunately, there is still hope for gentle humor in American Politics, which in turn means, there is still hope for America at large. Check out the recent actions of the Oregon State Legislature and its distinguished member (snerk! I said “member”!!!!) Jefferson Smith.

Concerned with the national air of adversarial politics, The Oregon State Representative from Portland decided to lay a gentle prank on his fellow House-mates. he gathered a bunch of his colleagues and together, they read the lyrics to Rick Astley’s 197 hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” totally straight-faced.

Rep. Smith found it was not hard at all to talk his colleagues, from both sides of the aisle, into the idea. Apparently, being “Rick Rolled” is common enough to have entered our cultural parlance. First though, they had to sneak this past the House. The lyrics were split up between all the conspirators, and hidden in their statements read before the House during a session in February 2010. Think of it… the people who had to work phrases like “Never gonna give you up” or “I want you to know how I feel” had it easy; the rep who had to work “ooh!” into their statement? Not so easy.

Then came the arduous process of going through hours of videotaped speeches to extract the Astley Bits (as it were) and assemble the whole into the video that is enjoying viral life on Youtube. after it was assembled, everyone was given a framed copy of what lyric they worked in, as well as a photoshopped photo of Rick Astley dancing on top of the Oregon State House building.

Reacting to remarks and rumors, Rep. Jefferson Smith has stated that all the clips are real (in fact the only thing faked was the afore-mentioned photo) and – more importantly, for the humor-impaired crowd – was not paid for with any taxpayer or public money. His wife shot and edited the video, taking over a year to assemble it.

He just did it for the laughs, and also for the fact that, even for a while, it brought Republicans and Democrats together in a common purpose that establish and/or strengthened working relationships between the two parties, the kind that lead to reasoned compromises instead of tense stand-offs. Can’t beat that, right? Check out the video here:

So, here at Blogosaurus Stampede, our hats go off to Rep. Jefferson Smith and The Oregon House of legislature for making politics a little more human, and giving Rick Rolling a new landmark achievement.

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